Sunday, January 14, 2018

B is for The Blue Flower: Penelope Fitzgerald

I had a very difficult time with this book. I was struggling to find a book that started with "B," as per my Reading Challenge, and Google recommended this one to me. From what I gathered in reviews on this book, it is very important and a masterpiece. I couldn't quite agree with that.

The novel opens with this pair of college friends, Fritz (who we later find out is the main character) and his friend Dietmahler. Dietmahler is visiting Fritz's home for the first time. Fitzgerald talks about this visit for the first three or four chapters, and then suddenly focuses solely on Fritz, without any conclusion on Dietmahler's visit. Up until this seemingly random switch, it seemed Dietmahler would be the main character, the one who's journey we would be following. That is not the case.

We then follow Fritz on his journey to find the Blue Flower, as he wrote in his story of the same name. I didn't find any suggestions as to what the Blue Flower was, so I allowed myself to draw my own conclusions: perhaps Sophie or her youth, as he is striving for the entire rest of the book to win Sophie and ultimately marry her. This proves impossible with her death in the end, proving that the Blue Flower is unattainable.

About 60% of the way through the novel, we return to Dietmahler's visit for a few sentences, but again forego him for Fritz and his search of the Blue Flower.

We do receive more mention of Dietmahler as Sophie becomes increasingly sick and her family seeks help and a cure for her. He comes into the picture again, but doesn't really play a major role. This was confusing and off-putting to me because of the emphasis he received in the beginning. I must need to go back and re-read the beginning in the context of the whole novel and perhaps it will make more sense to me.

I wasn't all that fond of the writing style either. This was my first Fitzgerald novel, so I might need to read more of her works before I draw a full conclusion towards her writing, but I found myself often drifting from the story because her writing was not at all engaging to me. I was bogged down by the way she wrote and had to work really hard to keep going.

Over all, I would not recommend this book, but perhaps that's because I didn't understand the moral or the point or appreciate the beauty. Maybe after I finish my 2018 reading challenge, I can give the book another chance, turning to other reviews and studies to maybe understand more of what Fitzgerald was doing. I'm not deterred or disappointed in my inability to understand The Blue Flower, because I know I don't need to understand everything I read.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

A is for Atonement: Ian McEwan

I read this book after watching the movie by mistake. It wasn't until I loved the movie and looked more into it that I figured out it was a movie based on a book. I knew I had to read the book, and the next time I was in a bookstore, I purchased it and began to read.

McEwan has such an interesting writing style. This is my first book of his that I've read, and I'm encouraged to read more because I was captivated by his way with words. It's hard to describe exactly what gives me this feeling, but reading the book was a similar experience to watching the movie. In the way McEwan details scenes, characters, movement, emotions, dialogue, etc., feels like stage directions in a script. This makes me feel like by reading the book, I'm actually watching a movie that's been written out for me. I loved it. Usually I like the freedom to visualize scenery and characters myself, and when I started the book, I thought I was going to be disappointed when I was handed every description and the exact way I should visualize everything. However, as I kept reading and the scenes became more complex and characters really started developing, I appreciated the spoon-feeding of detail. I didn't have to guess what McEwan was aiming for; he gave it to me exactly as he wanted.

While this was like reading a movie, it was a completely different experience from watching the movie. Aside from the obvious differences of book v. movie, the way in which I viewed characters was altered. Because McEwan gave us so much of Briony, I was able to understand her actions a little bit more. He gave us her every thought and reasoning and showed us how she reached her conclusions and how she defended her decision. This made her not as despicable as I found her in the movie. What she did was most certainly deplorable but slightly more understandable.

However, just when I reached that conclusion of Briony, McEwan threw more against her with the scene with Robbie and Briony's attempted drowning to see if Robbie would save her. In this scene she also confesses her love for Robbie, leading readers to believe that is the main reason why she did what she did. The problem is that this comes from Robbie's perspective, and based on the rest of the novel, I can't decide whether or not to believe this happened. I'm conflicted.

I love the ending of the novel especially. Briony returning to the "scene of the crime" to celebrate a birthday, the acting out of her first play, which was to be put on that first night, and all of the thoughts we get from her to wrap up the whole story.

I ended the book with a full disgust for Briony. She did wrong, she waited five years to even attempt to atone for them, and even then, she waited 60+ years to actually begin the process of telling the truth, and then because of liability, she can't publish her work until the criminals are dead, and at that point, she admits, she too will be gone, thus avoiding all scandal and blame. And what she ends up with isn't even the full truth. She changes Robbie and Cecilia's story for what purpose? To make herself feel better? To make her seem less a villian? I can understand wanting them to be happy and writing a story in a way that ends with them happy, but I think it's unfair that their true story is never told. While Briony thinks she's atoned for what she did, I find that not to be the case. She'll get to die completely unjudged by everyone involved. At least she'll die with the guilt of the lives she ruined.

I love the passion this book makes me feel. As you might be able to tell, I'm so angry at Briony, and I appreciate any book that can do that for me. I definitely need to read more McEwan.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

New Year New Reading Challenge

New year, new me, right? Close enough. I haven't posted in a while; I'm not the best at remembering that I have this blog and remembering to post on it frequently.

Hopefully with my New Year's Resolution, that will change!

I have two main resolutions this year: journal every day and complete a reading challenge. I've always wanted to do a reading challenge, but I never have, so I figured, what better time to start a challenge than at the beginning of the year when goals and expectations are high all around the world?

I decided to start with a fairly simple reading challenge that leaves me with plenty of options and freedom but has a clear start and end point. I'm going to do the alphabet challenge. It's a pretty easy concept, I have to read one book for each letter of the alphabet. The first letter of the title is the one that counts. For example, I'm starting with Atonement by Ian McEwan. That covers the letter A. I'm not sure what I'll do for B yet, but I have a whole book to get there. Articles do not count for the letter, so for T, I cannot count The Orphan's Tale by Pam Jenoff. That would count for O.

It should be pretty easy for me to complete, so the goal is to finish the entire alphabet by December 31st, 2018 at 11:59.

I'll be posting on each letter/book, so stay tuned!

Happy New Year!