Bird Box by Josh Malerman

They weren't kidding when they said read this book in one sitting! Holy smokes! It was a true page turner. I made the mistake of reading this after 10:00pm while I was home alone... Bad choice. It's not really "scary" but it's disturbing and psychologically thrilling and frightening. Which sounds like scary, but it's not your classic scary story with jumps and scares. It just makes you scared to look out into a dark night because you're afraid of seeing.... whatever you might see.

That was one of my favorite parts about Malerman's writing: he never actually made a villain. Rather, he created the concept of a villain or just the knowledge of the villain. Readers never get a description. All we know is that someone discovered that it's a creature of some sort, and we can deduce that it's multiplying. But what exactly is it? We don't get to find out which drives the plot that much faster because I was frantically turning pages trying to gain some insight as to what these people were seeing. 

And I wanted to see it. Even though I knew people were dying because of it, I felt like I just had to know exactly what we were dealing with. Because of the lack of description, I couldn't formulate any creature in my head: was it grey? was it furry or scaly? did it walk, swim, or fly? Unfortunately, and fortunately, I didn't get those answers. Unfortunately, because I really wanted to know, and fortunately because since I didn't get those answers, I'm left thinking about it. And I'll think about it for a few days, wondering what it was, wishing I knew.

I loved the alternating chapters in this book; this helped to keep driving the plot. This especially came true towards the end of the book when the plot picked up in both places in time. Then you were constantly holding your breath as new twists were revealed at each chapter end, and you had to start over at the next chapter, all the while thinking of the previous revelation, which makes the next revelation all the more powerful and striking.

It's amazing what Malerman did in this story. Instilling fear in his readers with the sensations, experiences, and thoughts of the main characters, he never actually described the horrors. The readers live in a blind world alongside the characters, because we're never allowed to open our eyes to the horror.

The Marsh King's Daughter by Karen Dionne

I had very high hopes for this book. I was in a bookstore in Petoskey, Michigan and one of the workers recommended this book. It takes place in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, so I thought it would be a lot of fun to read it. Unfortunately, it was not the fun read I thought it would be...

The writing style is just very dull. It's not exciting at all. It's monotonous and bland, and each sentence sounds the same as the last. That style makes reading very difficult.

The concept and idea of the book had so much potential. A woman's father escaped from prison and is on the run and she's the only one who can track him down. Sounds thrilling, right? Really, the whole book is just continual build up and the only real action happens on the last two pages. Not my kind of read. I don't mind build up, but this was too much and the build up didn't compel me to finish the book.

I really didn't enjoy the main character either. She had so much happening around her, but she didn't change or grow or develop at all. And she was just plain dull. It's hard to empathize or be excited by such a dull, one-dimensional character.

The only cool part of the book was that it took place in Michigan. Otherwise, I would completely pass on this book...

As For Me And My Household: Crafting Your Marriage to Last by Walter Wangerin Jr.

This book was a great read. I started reading the book wishing that I had read it before marriage, but when I got halfway through, I realized that the two years of marriage had taught me a lot which I used to understand and apply the book. When I finished it, I realized that it's a book that should be read regardless of how long you've been married. It's thought-provoking and encouraging.

While I can't say that my marriage changed overnight because of this book, I can say that I took a lot of Wangerin's ideas and am trying to implement them into my marriage.

My favorite chapter in this book was the one on forgiveness. Wangerin gives steps to forgiving your spouse, and he said to forgive your spouse you first have to let him know that he's done something wrong or hurtful. Otherwise, the forgiveness doesn't do much. So you have to be open and honest with your spouse when something he did hurt you and tell him that you're hurting because of it, and then you can move to the forgiveness stage. That's hard to do though. But it made me think of all the times I've "forgiven" my spouse for something he did or didn't do, without telling him that I was upset by it, and so nothing is really resolved, right? I'm trying to be better about talking to my spouse in those moments instead of just thinking and processing it all by myself.

This book is so full of insight and is incredible to read. It's easy to read, and it's easy to take breaks from which is great because then you have time for processing and practicing. I highly encourage anyone dating, engaged, or married to read this book.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society: Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

Brilliant, beautiful, and fun! I loved the letter-style of the book. It made it much more fun and exciting to read through the words of all the different characters instead of plain narration. I've always liked books written in letters.

I would love to go to Guernsey; it sounds like a beautiful place, based on Juliet's descriptions. I think I could live there. It reminds me of Mackinac Island, in Michigan, and I love that place.

The characters in this story were such fun. They were quirky and intelligent, each in their own way, and it was amusing to hear them discuss books and argue over themes from books they'd read. I'm encouraged to start my own Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, but I might eliminate the Potato Peel Pie part...

I am disappointed that Sidney wasn't the match for Juliet. I thought they would be the best and most obvious choice, but those dreams were shattered about halfway through. All's well that ends well, I suppose.

I'm excited to watch the movie now, because I enjoyed the previews, but I knew I needed to read the book first. I'm excited to see how they turn the letters into a movie. That can either go really well or really horribly. I'm hoping for the former. 

I highly recommend this book as it's easy to read, and it's a book that allows for breaks, which is nice. It's easy to pick back up and fall back into the world of Guernsey.

Body & Soul by Frank Conroy

I picked this book up in a bookstore. It was one dollar, and looked very well read, so I thought it must have been good to someone. I sure am glad that I did pick it up.

It was slow starting. I debated continuing, because the pace was very slow, and that was how the whole novel went: slowly. But I think that's how Claude's story had to be told, slowly. A lot of what happened to him happened rather quickly, so it was interesting to see this fast-paced life told slowly. It made me slow down as I followed his life and focus on what was being communicated. 

If I was asked to name the climax of the story, I would have a very difficult time. There are several possibilities, but none of them seem strong enough to stand as the sole climax. Things just continue happening, Claude continues through life, with a few bumps, until the end. 

This does make me somewhat disappointed on another level: Claude doesn't really change. There was a point, after a tragedy, that I thought Claude would grow up. At one point, one of his mentors talks to him about the fact that he is very immature. Everything had been given to him, and he didn't have to work much, which caused him to lack certain maturity. When I read this section, I was seriously stunned at the fact that I hadn't previously realized this. Up until this point, he felt very mature: he was on his way to becoming a famous musician, how could he be immature? But that's exactly what he was. Then, when I thought he had crossed a threshold into adulthood, Catherine returned, ruining any hope of maturity. In other words, while Claude learned a lot, experienced a lot, and felt a lot, he didn't change or grow. 

As a musician, so much of the book touched me deeply, and I know that if I took the time to really study what Claude was studying, I could learn a lot more musically, but I must admit that some of the seriously technical paragraphs, I skimmed, in a hurry to get to the meat. But Conroy writes about music in a way that is so real and true and beautiful. The impact of music can be felt so deeply within these pages, and the feeling and emotion Conroy exhibits is brilliant. 

I was rather surprised when the only outright mention of the connection between body and soul was during a sex scene. This was unsatisfying to me. I saw the connection several times while Claude was practicing or performing, and yet the only time Conroy discusses it is when he's having sex. I had hoped for something more meaningful, considering that this was with Catherine, a childhood crush he couldn't get over. I suppose Conroy left the musical part of body and soul up to deciphering for his readers. 

Were I to read it again, which I don't think I will because I can never again experience the beauty of reading the music for the first time, I would have to slow way down, learn with Claude, and try to decipher Conroy's hints to the theme of body and soul. 

The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena

*There are spoilers!*

Really good book! Really awful characters! I hated almost everyone in this book except poor Cora. Everyone else was despicable. To be fair, Anne wasn't necessarily despicable, she was just very blah. She was very unhappy and angry and hurt at everything, but she never fought for what she wanted, and that annoys me. If you're unhappy and have the power to change something that's adding to that unhappiness, change it! She just let it rot and fester, and that's not cool. Anne just let things roll over her and crush her to the point where she wasn't really anything any more. While I didn't dislike her as much as the other characters, I really disliked reading about her. Maybe that's the point?

I get that technically, Marco "isn't" the bad guy in the end, but obviously he's still very much the bad guy. Sure he was "set-up," but he still agreed to kidnap his own daughter instead of talking things out with his wife, sharing things with her, and working out problems with her. No, he'd rather risk his baby daughter by making a deal with a stranger he knew for about an hour. I honestly don't understand how any person could do that. I think this too is part of the appeal of this book: someone so horrible and despicable who is unlike anything you can imagine of yourself is kind of fun to read about. When you encounter such a character, you have to step outside of your own self and try to imagine the life and perspective of someone so different from you. That's an important aspect to any good story, challenging the reader to take on a different persona in order to fully understand and enjoy a new character.

I was impressed with Anne's mother's actions in the end of the novel. I didn't think she had it in her to stand up to her husband. She seemed very weak and a push-over, but she showed me up, again, adding to the appeal because it was another twist that I didn't see coming. It's always a pleasant surprise when you think you have a character figured out, and he takes you by surprise in the end, causing you to rethink your previous profile.

As you might have guessed, one of the things I enjoyed about this book was the amount of shockers I was given. Each chapter seemed to have a new twist. Several times, I gasped out loud and had to explain to my husband why I was shocked. Because of these twists, I couldn't put the book down, making it a fun and addicting adventure. I couldn't wait to find out about the next secret.

The ending though? Whoa. I had thoughts throughout the book, like, oh man, this is the perfect set up for Cynthia's murder, but I didn't think it would actually happen, especially as the truth of Cora came out, but I suppose Anne's mental condition had to come into play at some point, and that was a great way to bring in her blackouts. It's a funny thing when an author can make something so obvious, too obvious for you to believe that's what will happen, and just as you've convinced yourself that it would be too easy, that's the path the author takes. You'd think it would be disappointing, but in reality, it makes me feel accomplished to have "known all along" that it would end that way.

All in all, it was a good read. While I didn't like any of the characters, I was very invested in the story because kidnapping is such a horrible thing, so stories about that can usually keep me in its clutches.  This was a quick read, too, which was nice over my vacation. A couple hours by the pool, and I read through this book.

Reflections on my ABC Challenge

I just posted the final book for my ABC Challenge, Z is for The Zookeeper's Wife: Diane Ackerman, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on this challenge.

To start, I'm thankful I did this. For the first time, I had a drive and direction to what I was reading. I'd fallen off the reading wagon after college, because I didn't really have a reason or a need to read. Because of that, I didn't know what to read. With this challenge, I knew I had to read at least 26 books in 2018. I had to choose these books (within the confines of whatever letter I was on), but I had guidelines, structure, and direction for what to choose.

I'm also thankful because it helped me cross a lot of books of my to-read list. I was so excited when I decided to do this challenge because I would finally have to read Atonement by Ian McEwan. I picked that book up at a Goodwill after watching the movie and loving it, but that was years ago. I just never got around to reading it.

I finally read all the way through Emma and Jane Eyre and cursed myself for waiting so long. I read the entirety of The Turn of the Screw which I was supposed to read during my Junior year of college but didn't want to... and when I finished it, I understood why I didn't want to.

I found a new favorite author through this challenge: Charles Martin. I read Long Way Gone, and I knew I had to read more. Now I will.

I read historic books that helped me view history in a whole new light, like The Underground Railroad and The Zookeeper's Wife.

I read a book given to me by a friend after I miscarried, and A Grief Observed guided me through my hurt.

When searching for a Q book, I found a fascinating book that gave me more understanding and helped me see different ways to utilize my introverted self.

I finally read a book that I wanted to for years because it was a retelling of one of my favorite books in the Bible: Hosea.

I'm sad the challenge is over, because now I'm on my own to figure out what to read, but I'm so glad I did it. I'm already thinking about what to do next year. I highly encourage everyone to do some sort of reading challenge at least once, because it pushes you out of your "usual" reading borders and helps you find a whole new world of writing.

Z is for The Zoo Keeper's Wife: Diane Ackerman

I had high hopes for this book as I usually enjoy books on wartime. After hearing of the movie, I was more intrigued. I thought a zoo was a perfect place to hide and protect Jews during WWII. I was a little disappointed for a few reasons.

First of all, Ackerman took a style of writing that was 25% story and 75% fact. This combination would serve to create a more enjoyable read, but the switches were random and confusing. It was difficult to follow along with the facts and details only to be jarred back into the facts randomly and without cause. I think it would have been better had Ackerman chosen one method and stuck to it.

I was also unhappy with the content of the novel. It didn't seem to me like there was much about the Zabinski family. Sure, she talked about them and shared some of their experiences, but this was more a story about Warsaw and their war than the Zabinski's, which is fine, Warsaw has an incredible story in itself, but I was hoping for a story about the role the zoo and the Zabinski's played in the war. The parts that were about the Zabinski's and the zoo were very broad and there wasn't a whole lot of detail shared about either. Usually Ackerman pulled a quote from someone outside the story and applied that to whatever story she was sharing. I'm not sure if this is just because of a lack of facts about the Zabinski family, but it seemed like she had an interview with Rys and parts of Antonina's journal, but not much was shared, which was unfortunate.

This story is a brilliant one, and I'd like to see the movie to compare how that told the tale, but the writing I found to be weak.

Y is for Yesterday: Sue Grafton

I remember reading the first book in this series many years ago because I figured I should attempt it because of the popularity. After reading this one, I understand why I never continued in the series. Perhaps it's cheating to read this book for my Y book in my alphabet challenge, but it was recommended to me, and with Grafton's recent passing, I wanted to give it a shot, knowing this series has big influence in our world.

The story was good, but it would have been better if it was half the length. There was so much extra that really pulled me away from the plot and made it very difficult to enjoy. I had basically figured out the ending after about 75 pages; it just took so long to get there. I was ready for it to be over long before it was. There were a few twists that took me by surprise, but none of them impacted the story much, so I wasn't excited by them. In short, I was just bored by this book. It was fairly dull.

I had a difficult time getting into the story, and I think that's because of Grafton's writing style. It's not a style that draws the reader in barely allowing for any resurfacing. It was easy to put the book down and hard to pick it back up.

Kinsey isn't an enjoyable character either, and that could be because I've only read two in this series, but I found her to be a bit slow, dull, and apathetic. Even when she's fighting against Ned for her life, it was cold and void of emotions making it unexciting for me.

Maybe the reason I didn't enjoy this book is because I haven't read the whole series, but I have no motivation or intention to do so after this book.

W is for Wonder: R.J. Palacio

This was an enjoyable read. It was easy to read, easy to follow along, and engaging. I enjoyed Palacio's style of writing and I liked the breakdown of parts amongst the different characters: having that different perspective was fun, especially when Palacio threw in the different writing styles for each character. That was fun.

I'm glad I read the book instead of watching the movie/before watching the movie. I don't know why I had no interest in watching the movie, but my mom suggested I read this for W, and I'm glad I read it. I understand why it was such a hit: it is a great work. Palacio hits on so many touching themes and ties everything up in a neat little bow at the end.

I enjoyed Mr. Browne's precepts in their English class. I thought that was a great idea; one that I might implement if I was a teacher.

I liked that Palacio held off on providing a description of Auggie until it was Via's turn to tell the story. That was an interesting way to make sure the readers understood that this was not about the way Auggie looked and that the other themes were far more important than physical description. That being said, he provided some details that enabled guessing and visualizing, which is important for your readers to build a world.

This is a well-written, easy to read, emotional story of a lovable kid and his middle school adventures.

X is for Xingu: Edith Wharton

What a hoot! Wharton provides a social commentary on women and their role, and pokes fun at the desires of women in the upper class society.

The ladies of this story come together to read books and "discuss," which always ends up being gossip instead of discussion on the novels they've read. Poor Mrs. Roby who never reads the books is deemed a failure in the group. Apparently she never contributes anything worthwhile to the discussions and is reading books that are "out of date." She is seriously judged by the rest of the group, to the point where I thought she would be asked to leave.

When their favorite author joins them for a meeting one afternoon, they find they have nothing of value to talk about. There is an awkward silence among the group and in their attempts to prove their seriousness of reading, they forget all the books they've read and realize they haven't ever discussed anything of value, so they have nothing to contribute to the conversation.

Until, "poor" Mrs. Roby jumps in with a discussion on "Xingu." The rest of the club pretends to understand what she's talking about when they realize that the author among them is impressed and intrigued by what Mrs. Roby has to say. The two leave together, leaving the rest of the group to figure out what Xingu is.

I found this to be a very humorous read: these ladies try so hard to fit in and look good in front of an author, but because they don't have anything of value to contribute (each on is too concerned with her appearance to attempt conversation), they end up looking silly. And, instead of giving credit to Mrs. Roby for saving their hides in what was a very dull luncheon, they criticize her for monopolizing the author's attention and disregard her in frustration.

It's a short 26 pages (depending on the format), so it's an easy read and it goes by quickly, but it's entertaining and funny and it makes you think on the lengths you go to please the people around you and doing/acting/saying what society thinks you should do/act/say.

V is for A Voice in the Wind: Francine Rivers

I was very skeptical when someone handed me this book to read. I often have a difficult time reading Christian Fiction. I'm afraid it's either too touchy-feely for me, or the theology in it is so incorrect that I can't continue reading it. I was pleasantly surprised with this novel. Perhaps because the theology didn't seem to be the focal point. However, I did find Rivers' take on Christianity in the first century very interesting, especially when interacting with other Jews and Gentiles. The tension between these different religious groups was fascinating to read about, and I appreciate her perspective. Often times, I forget about the persecution that continued on after Paul's writings. It's still important to consider the things our brothers and sisters before us did and had to endure to follow Christ.

I really liked Hadassah's character. She was a very intriguing character. I appreciated her strengths and reading everything she endured, but I also appreciated seeing her faults. Rivers did a fantastic job incorporating both strengths and weaknesses, which is important for readers to see: Christians aren't perfect, and while we strive for that, it's not possible in this lifetime.

I must admit, I was shocked and horrified at the ending. I knew Julie was just going to continue getting worse and worse, but I couldn't have ever anticipated how much worse she was going to get. My heart broke at what she did, and I'm hoping for a survival from Hadassah because not only do I need her, but Marcus needs her. I love their relationship and her fight for Marcus' spiritual life. It's uplifting and lovely.

As great as all this was, I only give it four stars because it took me about 300 pages to be sucked in by her writing. I think some areas went on far too long, and I felt bogged down by portions in the story, especially the first 3/4 of the novel. I was just about ready to give up when things finally started getting interesting, and I was convinced to push on.

U is for The Underground Railroad: Colson Whitehead

This was an incredibly written beautiful story of Cora. Whitehead has an interesting spin on the Underground Railroad and what it consisted of which is fun. When I finished reading, I had to ask my husband whether or not there were actual trains on the railroad, because Whitehead made it so realistic. Even my husband, when I explained my confusion, couldn't give me a straight answer; I had to Google it to find out that no, this was just Whitehead's childhood fantasy of trains on the Underground Railroad. 

The novel is very well-written and flows beautifully and horrifyingly. There were so many times and so many phrases that I read and had to put the book down because of the sickness in my gut. For example, this is one of the least or the sentences that gave me pause and had me swallowing down the sick: "In effect, they abolished slavery. On the contrary, Oney Garrison said in response. We abolished niggers." Whitehead was incredible at digging into the minds of slaves and whites alike. Both sides were presented so well, including whites for and whites against slavery: both sides have a share in this story, and it's almost overpowering how well Whitehead writes these sides. 

I appreciated the breaks in Cora's story to give background on the "minor" characters of the novel. It was fun to read a few pages about the characters that until then, we didn't know much about. My heart broke when I read Mable's chapter. To think that she had turned back for Cora, but never made it, is heart-wrenching. And Cora never knew, which is the worst of it. 

Cora is an incredible character. I was humbled, encouraged, and impressed by her throughout the entire story. Her only flaw was that she was too trusting in the places she landed, and always hesitated a moment too long, but I can't blame her for that. It wasn't until I finished the book and glanced at the summary that I remembered/realized that Cora is only 15. That does not seem real to me. She is so much older, wiser, and braver, than any 15-year old I know. I almost want to reread it, with that age in mind and see if it changes anything for me. 

Whitehead also was fantastic with creating the antagonists. Not only do you have overall slavery as a villain, but then you have Randall, you have the Irish servant, and worst of all, you have Ridgeway. Every time he reappeared, I had to put the book down for a second because I was so upset. Each time Cora defeated him, I believed would be the last, but it was never the last until the very end and that was great. And terrible. But great in regards to the quality of the book. 

“The underground railroad is bigger than its operators—it’s all of you, too. The small spurs, the big trunk lines. We have the newest locomotives and the obsolete engines, and we have handcars like that one. It goes everywhere, to places we know and those we don’t. We got this tunnel right here, running beneath us, and no one knows where it leads. If we keep the railroad running, and none of us can figure it out, maybe you can.”

Excellent book.

T is for The Turn of the Screw: Henry James

I don't think I like Henry James' writing style. With all of the description and inner thoughts and ramblings and unnecessary information given by the narrator, I lost so much of the story. I got lost in the descriptions and couldn't keep track of where the story was supposed to be going. With that being said, I almost feel as if there wasn't any description. There was a lot, but the descriptions we got weren't about the actual story, or so I found. When it came to the actual story, it seemed that the reader was left to interpret how he or she wanted. We had to come up with our own description of the story.

I also didn't really understand why the narrator was so scared. It didn't seem to me that she should have felt as much fear as she did, as quickly as she did. Sure, she saw some people at night, but that shouldn't be cause for the fright she felt (this is what I mean when I say the description was a bit lacking). We just have to believe that those people were very scary and that everyone should feel such great alarm. Even Mrs. Grose didn't seem to be alarmed at the beginning, which left me feeling even more annoyed and unbelieving of the fear.

I also didn't like the subplot of Miles not returning to school. I didn't understand where that was supposed to go and what that had to do with the whole story. I'm afraid that in all the unnecessary words, I lost a majority of the depth of this story. It's probably one that I'll have to read again. I don't understand the title, but I think that would require another read through and some deep thought.

I ended the story with a few questions about the narrator. I thought for a while that she was simply crazy and that's why she was so afraid. I thought these "ghosts" were in her head, and that's why, at the pond, neither Mrs. Grose nor Flora admitted to seeing them. I thought I was being so smart in interpreting that all of this fear and horror was created in her head, perhaps due to the stress of the letter about Miles from his headmaster. I kept that thought until the end. I don't think that last sentence was in her head. But I just don't know for sure.

This is a book I'd have to read several more times and probably read more essays on to fully understand. It was complex and confusing, and I'm sure there are a multitude of themes to explore, which is why I can understand this book is so important in the literary world. I just didn't enjoy it much.

S is for Secrets to the Grave: Tami Hoag

I was pretty disappointed in this book. I didn't realize when I purchased it that it was part of the Oak Knoll series because I really didn't like the first one. I wasn't drawn to any of the characters and there were so many red herrings that I ended the book not really caring who did it but longing for the book to be over.

I don't know a lot about crime and how police departments work when there is a crime, but some of the paths and steps taken by the main people didn't seem like steps I'd seen in other crime fiction. I'm sure Hoag researched and by this point knows pretty well how the process works, but this just didn't seem right to me.

Anne is a very dull character. I didn't like her in the first book and I didn't like her in the second. She doesn't really seem to change or develop; she just remains this dull, flat character. I know we are supposed to feel sad for her and Vince as they struggle to conceive, but that topic is just hardly grazed and then never brought up again. As one who has struggled with reproducing, I find this disappointing. If it's major enough to write about throughout the book, write about it. However, if it's not that big of a deal (as it feels in this book) leave it out. It just took away from the story-line and left  me confused and disappointed at the lack of time spent on that "major" problem of Anne and Vince. Maybe this will be talked about more in the third?

I have the same complaints about the trial with Peter Crane and Anne. This is mentioned two or three times in the book, but it isn't really ever talked about and again it just detracts from the story. I'm assuming both of these will be talked more about in the third book? I'm not sure that I'll continue reading to the third book. I like Hoag a lot, and have loved several of her novels, but this one, this series, is a no-go for me.

Q is for Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking: Susan Cain

This was a very powerful book that was quite different from what I'd been reading. It was a good change of pace for me. Cain does a nice job exploring this subject on a variety of levels: the business world, the college world, the married world, the young child world, she covers it all.

The book was easy to read and understand: it's written in simple language for every man to understand. There were places where I'd skim through because of the technical aspect of what Cain was saying: much of the biological sections I'd skim through quickly because I didn't understand nor care to grasp those concepts, as well as when the business aspects got too detailed. I don't fell like I missed anything for doing this.

It was well structured and organized, each part flowing into the following part well, so that the section breaks and chapter breaks weren't breaks but pauses in the journey. Very easy to read the book in one sitting.

I've gained a lot of knowledge now about the world around me, regarding introversion and extroversion. I have more understanding of how to be powerful and succeed in this world that is so extroverted-focused. More than that, I have a better understanding of how extroverts function, why they think the way they think, and how we can use our differences for good.

I highly encourage extrovert and introvert alike to read this book as it will be beneficial no matter how you describe yourself.

P is for The Passenger: Lisa Lutz

What a page-turner! I was hooked by page one. And I stayed hooked the entire read. Each chapter presented one more layer of murk, one more shocking surprise, one more question that needed to be answered, and I couldn't put this down. I'm glad I had a two-hour plane ride with nothing else to do but read this book. 

I really appreciated the break-down of the book: each part split up by name. This made it very hard to stop (or impossible because I never actually stopped?) because when the part ended, I had to know what happened with her next identity. 

I like Nora. I think she was a very good character, with a lot of depth, a lot of pain, and a lot of life. That makes it easy to read and enjoy reading. From the very beginning I was on her side. Maybe that's because she's the main character and narrator, but I also think Lutz did a very good job making her readers instantly fall onto Nora's side. Each time an identity falls apart, my heart breaks a little bit more for Nora because it's so easy to see that all she wants to be is Nora. Just Nora. 

I also liked the email correspondence throughout each part. That helped provide some background while also leaving me clueless with so many more questions, adding to the intrigue. 

Even with the book finished, I'm not sure how I feel about Blue. She's a strong woman, to be sure, but almost the complete opposite of Nora's strong, and when those two are in comparison, I can't fathom choosing Blue ever. She almost does the right thing, but she always ends that by doing the complete wrong thing, and I'm left feeling betrayed by her, even though she might not actually deserve that. 

Domenic was also an interesting character. I longed for more of him in the book, because I couldn't figure out why Nora was so drawn and attached to him so quickly. I never felt like he was worth her affections because I couldn't figure him out. I wasn't given enough of his character to decide who and what he was. Maybe that's intentional-to keep us guessing on Domenic. 

I totally did not expect the ending, but I thought it was a fantastic way to finish the story. That's the only thing that made sense. And when it comes down to it, it does make sense. Of course that's how it is. How else could it be? I just never expected it. But looking back on the novel, I should have seen it coming. Lutz left clues all along. I just missed them and didn't add two things together to get that outcome. 

Loved this book. Highly suggest it. Read it when you have enough time to finish it because you won't put it down until the last word. 

O is for The Orphan's Tale: Pam Jenoff

This was a well-written and well-crafted novel. The characters and events were so real to me that it was easy to play this out as a movie as I read. 

One of my recent favorite reads was about a circus (Night Circus is highly recommended by me) and I've always enjoyed books about World War II, because, I think, it makes the events of WWII more real in my head. I can read about it all I want in a textbook, but when I'm reading stories about people who suffered (granted, most of them are made-up) I feel so much more and can imagine so much more and understand the war so much more. This novel combined the two in a beautiful and entertaining way. I also learned of the Jewish circuses that took place before and somewhat during the war, and I find that incredible. 

I appreciated the narration style a lot. Had the whole book been told by one character, I might have gotten bored. Too many different narrators would have overwhelmed me. Jenoff uses the two main characters, Noa and Astrid, to tell the story, and that was a good choice. Each chapter bounced back between the two, and that helped keep me on my toes, and kept me reading. It was interesting to see the two very different perspectives these two provided, and it was cool to see the friendship bloom between the two from each person.

I was so frustrated when I got to the part where Astrid is beaten by the police. I wanted to stop reading because I was so mad at all that had gone wrong in her life. It was so unfair! I kept reading, though, and I was somewhat able to move on and let that go, but I was greatly relieved when I got to the end. There was a part of me that either guessed that would happen or just really wanted to happen, so I wasn't too surprised, but very thankful. Thanks, Jenoff! Good ending! 

This was a beautiful tale of friendship, loss, struggles, and love. It's a very different take on WWII then I've previously experienced, and I quite enjoyed it!

N is for Never Let Me Go: Kazuo Ishiguro

This was a beautifully written, dark and despairing love story, and I enjoyed it.

I could have given up early on in the story because it was difficult to get engaged when I knew nothing of the world Katy lived in. I was confused about the setting, but when I got to the end, I realized how much I liked the way Ishiguro slowly revealed the world to his readers as the story went on. Kathy shared the world at her pace, and that worked really well for the novel.

There were so many times when I wanted to shake the book and yell at Kathy, which makes for a good read. I was engaged in what I was reading, and I could tell that by how angry I got when Kathy didn't do something because she was so meek and quiet. I wish so much that she had stood up for herself more.

Ruth was a difficult character. I understand why she's in the story, but I didn't like her one bit. She was frustrating and annoying and petty and rude, and I could never understand why Kathy didn't just let her go. I know Ruth was an important part of Kathy's story, and I know she was necessary for Ishiguro's plot, but she was not necessary in my mind.

I think the world Ishiguro created is a fascinating world. Terrible, but fascinating. His ideas are insane but real enough to be frightening. Is this something that could happen to our world? Probably.

The way Ishiguro told the story was interesting and kept me reading. Just when he was about to reveal something big, he'd jump back to Kathy's narration and pull us back out of the story. I had a hard time taking breaks from reading because each time a chapter ended, it was in a place that I knew the next chapter would keep going and something bigger would be revealed. It was a nice way to keep me in the story.

There were several highlight-worthy lines in this novel, and I'll share my favorite one:

“I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much. The current’s too strong. They’ve got to let go, drift apart. That’s how I think it is with us. It’s a shame, Kath, because we’ve loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can’t stay together forever.”

M is for My Antonia: Willa Cather

I am just not a fan of American Literature. It all is the same to me. Sure, there are different writing styles and different characters, but the main plot is pretty much the same: a family moves out west and has to struggle through hot summers and cold winters to survive on their farm. An animal dies, someone gets really sick, somebody dies, the food freezes, a bear attacks, etc., etc. And on and on it goes.

My Antonia was about the same. Jim moves out West to live with his grandparents, meets Antonia, they go through a really cold winter and a really hot summer, Antonia's father dies, she has to take over, etc.

While I don't like American Literature, I can appreciate the work of art that it is. It is a beautifully written novel. I can understand why it's a classic and why it's on so many reading lists. There are a lot of deep and important themes, that are still prevalent today. The idea that immigrants won't succeed unless they learn English is something a lot of people still feel today. And there is this feeling of dislike towards these people who can't speak English and have to suffer in different ways because of that barrier that is still around today.

Jim also talked a little bit about the chasm between country girls and city girls, and I think, to a certain extent, this is true today, less about country and city and more about class, but I think there's a lot to be said about that.

So while I liked the style of writing, and I see that there was great talent in Cather, this was just a dull book for me. There were a handful of funny lines, but those were few and far between.

R is for Redeeming Love: Francine Rivers

I was very hesitant about reading another Rivers' book. I didn't really enjoy the first one I read, and I'd heard a lot about her writing that I didn't think I would enjoy.

Knowing we have different beliefs, I approached this as a fiction work (as it's meant to be) and tried to set aside my beliefs (which is very difficult/impossible to do) and focus on the story Rivers told. I was impressed and impacted.

I know the story. I know how Hosea's tale goes. Yet I longed for something different. I begged Angel to stay and not leave him. But each time she did, and each time my heart broke a little more. That's one of the things I loved about this book: Rivers made me feel.

I started reading one Friday afternoon, thinking I would kill some time until an appointment and then maybe pick it up the next time I had extra minutes on my hand. I was so wrong. Right away, I was a part of the story. I was on Angel's team, cheering for her, crying for her, laughing with her. Rivers made her real. She was a real character with real emotions, real dialogue, real thoughts. It was easy to fall in love with a character who made you feel the things she was feeling.

Then, when Michael came in, I was hooked even more! He was perfect (of course, Rivers does a great job making him human too, showing us his flaws, his pain, and his sins-much more easier to love him too!)! He was everything I needed in a hero. He was bold when he needed to be, cautious when necessary, patient, loving, hardworking, and sinful. All things that we all are. And that was perfect.

Every roadblock that either Angel or Michael faced had me gripping the book so tightly. i wanted so badly a happy ending, and I was so disappointed in the end: for a while. Rivers kept me on edge the whole story, which was great, because going into the book I thought that I knew exactly what would happen. I'd studied Hosea pretty well. I'd done a report on the book and written a few papers on the topic, so I figured it would be fun to read a "modern" (rather, more modern than Hosea) re-telling of a familiar story. Wrong! Rivers sticks to the basics but adds so many twists that I was guessing the whole time.

Needless to say, I read this book in one evening because I couldn't stop. Wonderful book!

L is for Long Way Gone: Charles Martin

A friend recommended this book to me when I was using bookstore gift cards, so I purchased it, thinking I wouldn't be out anything if I didn't like it, and it seemed to get good reviews. Then it sat on my shelf for a few months until a vacation on a beach with a plane ride: perfect time to read all the unread books on my shelves. I picked this one up first on the plane, but when I read the book, I stopped. "A radical retelling of the prodigal son story..." No thank you. I'll save it for last. Then when I ran out of books, I had no choice but to return to Long Way Gone. And boy, am I glad I did. 

My hesitation was that so many people take Scripture and try to "modernize" it to make it more applicable or entertaining, and in doing so, completely miss the purpose of Scripture. I tend to stay away from any thing that claims to retell a story from the Bible. When I finally did read Long Way Gone, I didn't focus on the prodigal son story. There are some obvious connections, but I was able to just ignore those, look at the story as a story of fiction, and then, when I finished, I was able to look back and appreciate the less obvious connections and hints at the parable Jesus told. 

What a journey. It was such a difficult path that Cooper traveled, and my heart bled for him so many times. I felt his pain and several times I found myself wiping away tears. Several times I tried to yell at Cooper and tell him what to do, tell him to go home, but I couldn't. He took the path he needed to travel, and when he did finally find his way home, it was the perfect timing. His journey was exactly what he needed, and he came back stronger for it. 

I'm somewhat of a musician, and I loved the music of this book. Martin weaves music in so well and it's very beautiful. The songs he chose are great ties to the story, and I'm longing to hear Daley and Cooper perform, especially Long Way Gone; I'm sure that would be an incredible piece.

I loved the connection with Blondie. I thought that was a fun thing to add, especially the scene where his face changes to show how he had been with Cooper the whole time. 

One of the praises for this book really struck me as a theme for this novel: "Cooper and Daley's story will make you believe that even broken instruments have songs to offer when they're in the right hands" (Lisa Wingate, National Bestselling Author of The Story Keeper and The Sea Keeper's Daughter on Long Way Gone). This is what Cooper needed to discover. This is what his father tried to show him. This is what Daley learned. And this is what Cooper continued to teach. And it's true for us today. We are all broken instruments, sinful and unclean, and we can do nothing. We can do nothing apart from God. He's those "right hands" that we need in order to sing our songs, our songs which are not our own at all, but His. 

Really beautiful work. 

K is for Kill Me Now: Timmy Reed

I received the Advance Reading Copy in a giveaway, so I'm not sure if anything that I comment on is different in the final publishing.

I was at first turned off by the style of writing and the way the narrator spoke and acted. It was so against everything I stand for that I had a really hard time not putting the book down. I had to remind myself that that was the point of the book: the grunge and grime and all the dirty details of Miles' life.

When I was able to get past the grunge and appreciate the book for what it was, I did appreciate it.

Miles is so human and realistic and very easy to bring to life as you read. Reed creates the world and the person so true to life that it's almost impossible not to feel like Miles exists as a child you know from the neighborhood next door.

Usually in a book like this, the narrator goes through something which forces him to grow or learn something, and I found it really fascinating that Reed was able to pull this book off without anything like that happening. Each day, something happened to Miles and he "learned" something. He never really changed, and he never really grew up, but this novel takes place over just a few months in his summer. He doesn't have much time to grow.

I appreciated that ability of Reed's, but I also would have liked to see Miles learn something, mature, or grow up in some way, and I was a bit disappointed when the Miles at the end of the story is the same as the Miles in the beginning.

I was annoyed throughout the novel with the random words that were completely capitalized. This definitely took away from my enjoyment. It was distracting to me to have these emphasized words randomly throughout the book. I understand why Reed did that, but every time I came across a capitalized word, I was taken out of the story.

I also have a very difficult time placing Miles as a fourteen year old. The words he uses (for example "copacetic," even though he spelled it wrong: I'm not sure if that's supposed to point to his age or if that's a typo in the ARC copy) don't seem like his age or his personality. Or when he's talking about the TV and how he hate the machine but can't stop watching, that doesn't sound like his age or the personality we are led to believe he has. Sometimes it seems like his thoughts are too real or too deep or too old for the character Reed has created him to be. It's all very misleading to me.

I appreciated the last sentence and the irony of it. Reed did well there; it made me laugh but it also made me think about what I'd spent the past few days reading and made me ask myself why I read it.

J is for Jane Eyre: Charlotte Bronte

Jane Eyre was such a heartwarming read. I fell in love, I cried, I laughed, and I jumped. Bronte's method of writing was so captivating and real that I fully felt part of the story. 

I've always struggled with (and just now finally got over) the drawn out beginning. Jane has a really difficult childhood, and I sympathize. I feel badly for her because she does have it rather rough. But it goes on and on and on. Even when the school is reported and someone else takes over and things should start to get better for Jane, there's nothing but sadness for her, it seems. We don't hear anything happy about her life until she reaches Thornfield Hall. I suppose one could argue that her life wasn't happy or didn't start until she came to Thornfield.  

After I got through that beginning, I loved, loved, loved the novel. I love the way Jane and Mr. Rochester fall in love, and I love all of their interactions. I love that Mr. Rochester makes Jane think he'll marry Miss Ingram, because poor Jane becomes so distraught, but I like it because it forces her to admit her feelings and "stand up" to this guy. Of course, Mr. Rochester sees through every facade of Jane and knows all along what she's feeling. Theirs is such a lovely relationship. 

The twists and turns of the story made it hard for me to go to work and put the book down. I knew Jane and Mr. Rochester would end up together, but I didn't know how. And Bronte just kept leading me astray! First with Miss Ingram, then with Rochester's wife, then with St. John, and I never felt comfortable in their security. I really enjoyed that. Bronte made me long to keep reading, and I need that in a book. 

The big question in this book comes from Mr. Rochester in chapter XX: He asks Jane, "To attain this end, are you justified in over leaping an obstacle of custom-a mere conventional impediment, which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves?" And again he asks, "Is the wandering and sinful, but now rest-seeking and repentant man, justified in daring the world's opinion, in order to attach to him forever, this gentle, gracious, genial stranger; thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?" Is he justified? Is he right? 

I have to give some thought to this question. I appreciate a book that makes me think, and Bronte has certainly made me think. Certainly it would be right for Mr. Rochester to remain faithful and loyal to the woman he married, but at what point does Mrs. Rochester cease to be the woman he married? She's not in her right mind, but does that release Mr. Rochester from his vows? I just don't have an answer. I greatly appreciate that I have this serious question to consider because of a book.

Jane, later on when she's giving her own thought to the matter asks, "Whether it is better, I ask, to be a slave in a fool's paradise at Marseilles-fevered with delusive bliss one hour-suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the next-or to be a village school-mistress, free and honest, in a breezy mountain nook in the healthy heart of England?" (chapter XXXI). 

My only regret with this book is that I didn't read it sooner. I fully understand why it's a classic novel and why it's on so many book lists. Really great novel and I highly recommend it.

I is for An Irish Country Doctor: Patrick Taylor

I picked this book up because I found it at a thrift store, so it was pretty low-priced. I've always loved reading books that take place in Ireland, so the title appealed to me.

I'm so thankful I grabbed it!

First, this was an easy read, perfect for a vacation book. I finished it in a few days, and it was easy to pick up and put down as time came. There weren't any moments where I felt like I just couldn't put the book down, which was nice at the time, as I had just finished reading a thriller and was ready for something more light and easy.

I absolutely loved the setting. The world created by Taylor is so amusing and beautiful and appealing. I want to pack my bags and head to Ballybucklebo, and I'm very sad that it's fictional. Taylor made the world come to life through his multitude of characters. Bringing in an outsider is a great way to subtly describe the setting without overwhelming the reader, and Barry provided me with enough details to still leave some up to my imagination. Other details of the world of Ballybucklebo were provided through the dialogue, attitudes, and relationships of the other characters in the town. Having lively, human characters come to life on the pages brought the world they lived in to live even more.

I loved meeting all the characters and learning all of their quirks and how that impacts the surgery. Taylor created some fantastic characters with some of the most outrageous issues, and it was fun to read about them, and watch them develop (or not develop at all, which is also great because they're so entertaining and lovable as they are). He made each character human, with flaws that were funny but very serious at the same time, causing me to laugh while reflecting on myself and how that flaw can be seen in myself.

I quite enjoyed the relationship between O'Reilly and Barry, and it was fun to watch that grow after the rather unconventional first meeting. It was fun to see whose "team" I was on throughout, and I often found myself rooting for O'Reilly and his crazy ways rather than Barry and his by-the-book school of thought. It made me happy when Barry jumped on board with O'Reilly, and by the end, I felt like he would definitely be a great fit in Ballybucklebo.

I'm excited to read the next books in this 11-book series, because I can't wait to get more about these people: I want to grow with them.

This was a great book to read on vacation, sitting on the front porch, drinking a cup of coffee, and watching the sun rise. The sun warmed my skin, but this book warmed my heart. That's really what this book was: a heart-warming, laugh out loud, fall in love with the setting and characters kind of book, and I highly recommend it.

H is for The Handmaid's Tale: Margaret Atwood

I read 1984 by George Orwell in high school, and I remember that it was an easy read for me (as in I got through it really quickly) and I remember liking it, but I couldn't remember many details about it. When I picked up The Handmaid's Tale and saw on the back cover that someone was liking it to 1984, I admit, I was a bit hesitant. I thought that what was done in 1984 couldn't be reproduced. I should have realized, though, that the comparison didn't mean equality of themes, plots, and ideas. The two works are very different in the best ways.

The Handmaid's Tale does warn about the potential future of our lives, but it takes a different spin from 1984. In this world, women are given the sole purpose of reproducing, and if you fail to do that, you're banished.

I wish I could have read it when it was first published, because I think I might have taken the premise a bit more seriously. Things have greatly changed now, and so I can't even imagine the world turning into this. It's such a stretch, it seems, that we would revert back to the things the world has been fighting for for so long: granted, much of that I don't agree with: right to choose and abortion. However, these women aren't allowed to read. They aren't allowed to drink coffee or do anything that might hinder their chances of reproduction. Most of them don't get to be married and have to live bouncing between houses hoping to provide a baby for the couple they're serving at the time. These are things that sound so barbaric to me in this day and age, and it doesn't seem like anything we could expect.

This brings up another point: I'm torn up about the lack of backstory in this novel. Part of me really appreciates the fact that Atwood can weave a tale and create a world so fully without providing any background on how the world came to be. She mentioned a few small points like which country invaded America to enforce this lifestyle on them, but she gives no reason as to the how and whys. And the other part of me hates that she gives no how and whys. Had I known the history, I might have been more convinced of these changes. It's so difficult for me to believe all of the changes that the world had to go through in order to become what it is, when I see where we are now and can't see how the changes came about.

It obviously didn't take too long as Offred could remember her childhood being nothing like this, and she was married and had a baby before everything fell apart, and she was only in her 30s. The process from normality to this new life under the Eye must have only taken five years? Maybe less? That seems a bit unreasonable to me, but again, because I don't have the full story or the history, I don't really know.

The book itself was really easy to read. Because of the content, though, it took me a bit longer to get through it than to just read it. It was full of very heavy concepts, themes, and ideas. I was continually shocked by the neutral way all of the people in the story talked about the rapes and slavery and murder that was going on around them, especially as this generation knew life before the Eye took over. At one point in the story, one of the teachers mentioned how it would be easy with the next generation because all they'll know is this life and they won't know what it was before, in the past. Which is true in theory, but for Offred, she simply accepted what she had. It was just what she had to endure. She even had a husband and a child to fight for. I'm sure it wasn't easy to fight, but even when she had the chance to join the rebellion, she didn't.

I was very stricken with the themes Atwood wrote on, and the story caused me to think quite a bit about the life we have now and everything we've fought for. It's great that this story causes readers to stop and think about the freedoms and choices we have today and imagine the possibilities should those freedoms be taken away. I wasn't scared by reading this book, though, as some critics said would be the case. As mentioned earlier, this was too far-fetched seeing where we are today.

G is for A Grief Observed: C.S. Lewis

This book helped me get through a very difficult time. Although this is written after and in response to the death of Lewis' wife, he had many perspectives and thoughts that were very applicable to what I was suffering.

I appreciated that he didn't try to give us any answers to grief. He didn't try to show us how to get through the grief or get over the grief. Instead, he just acknowledges or observes grief, and it's very helpful, as someone who is also grieving, to read about the journey through grief and how someone else handled his grief. It helps provide a sense of camaraderie and fellowship which is often lacking in grief. It's easy to feel isolated, but Lewis gives us a partner through his writings.

It's difficult to offer any sort of review on this book, because I had such a great emotional response to his writing that I don't feel that I am in any position to critique it. Therefore, I'll leave it at this short analysis of how I felt when reading.

F is for Flags in the Dust: William Faulkner

I've never been able to decide how I feel about William Faulkner's writing. I read As I Lay Dying years ago, and I thought it was an okay book: very dark, sad, and almost twisted, but it was very well written. I can't deny that Faulkner was a very talented man. The biggest struggle I have with him is the dialect he creates for his characters to speak in. I have to work pretty hard to understand what they're saying, and I don't particularly like that, but I did get used to it after 100 pages or so. I am thankful that the narrator speaks without a dialect, giving readers a break from the concentration and thought they must have when reading a character's speak. It's hard to focus on the themes of the book when I'm working so hard to understand what's being said.

Speaking of themes, there are so many I could touch on. Holy cow, does Faulkner speak on a lot of ideas and concepts, and I can see when he is so studied. Any student could have a field day with his work. 

He touches on race, wealth, marriage, feminism, societal expectations, and so much more. I'm not going to delve into each of these topics because a full-fledged essay could be written for each. I will say that this helped me appreciate the novel all the more. There is so much to be said about every character Faulkner created, and that doesn't always happen. Even the minor characters aren't actually minor characters and either play a crucial role or present a crucial theme/idea throughout. 

I find it very interesting that when Faulkner's characters converse with each other, they all sound like country bumpkins, not very educated, working to put bread on the table, and just getting through the day to day. But then, a character is left alone and has pages of the most beautiful thoughts, where they're pondering deep questions and the idea of world peace while quoting Keats. This creates some tension for me because I can't figure out what kind of people they actually are. They must be intelligent and worldly and full of thought and philosophy. But when we hear them talk together, they sound like such simpletons. 

Then ending of this book is just so sad, but I guess I shouldn't have expected otherwise given the characters and their behavior. It is an ending that did not leave me feeling content, rather, I finished the book feeling anxious, restless, and unsatisfied. But I guess that's Faulkner for you.

E is for Emma: Jane Austen

I frequently say that Jane Austen is my favorite author, but it took me 22 years to read all the way through Emma, which I'm ashamed to admit. I'm very disappointed in myself for waiting that long, as it's a fantastic novel, which shouldn't be surprising considering Austen's talent. 

I firstly must say, poor, poor Harriet. She just has disappointment after disappointment, and it's hard not to blame that on Emma herself, leading and encouraging Harriet away from and towards the wrong men. But Harriet is often described as insensible and foolish, which can be seen in the way she easily follows Emma's advice, even when she longs for a different direction. But it works out for her 400 pages later. It just makes for a sad novel, when focusing solely on Harriet. Mr. Knightley does well to discourage the friendship.

Speaking of, I truly adore Mr. Knightley. I tried to decide who I like better between Knightley and Darcy, but I can't. I like how Knightley is basically perfect from beginning to end. He never has moments where characters are shown his arrogance and pride as does Darcy. But part of Darcy's appeal, I think is that he is so unlovable in the beginning. Therefore, I'm giving them a tie. Knightley is so perfect for Emma, and this can be seen in the very beginning in the way he teaches, lectures, and quite simply, adores her. Emma is just a bit foolheaded to wait 400 pages to realize her affections for him. She had ample opportunity to realize what they could be, but I suppose, had she realized it sooner, Austen wouldn't have written a novel at all, and then where would we be?

I don't care for Churchill at all. And I'm not sure if we're supposed to or not. Had Emma been less sensible and clever, she could have ended up heartbroken, and Knightley would have had to wait until she had healed to pursue her. Fortunately, Emma is sensible and doesn't fall for his tricks. He is simply a scoundrel, and I don't understand how Jane can love him. Even after the engagement is announced, I don't believe Austen provides enough of his "good" side to help me appreciate the character that Churchill is. 

I also wanted to touch on Miss Bates. Austen does such a great job with her utter nonsense or vomiting of words. I must confess that I skimmed and skipped a great many of her ramblings. I apologize to Austen for admitting that, but I don't think she would have blamed me. If it was something important, I think Austen would have someone more respectable say it, so I don't think I missed much by avoiding the pages of commentary by Miss Bates.

All in all, I loved Emma. Part of my affection for the novel might have come from me seeing the 1995 movie version with Gwyneth Paltrow: one of my favorite movies. I at first tried to dispel those actors from my mind as I read the novel, but I decided I liked the way they played their characters too well to completely forget about them, and I think it was nice to have a movie playing in my head as I read the novel. 

D is for Diary of an Oxygen Thief: Anonymous

I'm afraid I might have entirely missed the point of this novel. Frankly, I didn't see the point, but there must be one, because it's a bestseller.

It was quite easy to read through; overall I think it took me two hours to read. I appreciated the fact that there were only three chapters, because it forced me to finish it quickly. I would sit down and make myself read an entire chapter, so I finished it in three bursts.

I didn't like the main character. He starts out as a sadist and never really changes. His heart was broken, so he decides to break all other hearts in the world, one at a time. The whole novel consists of him explaining how he broke hearts and complaining about everything: the amazing job he got, the girl he fell in love with and broke his heart, the weather in Minnesota. It was just annoying to read all of his complaints. I suppose that's the point of a diary, so perhaps the fault there is mine.

I didn't particularly like the writing style. First of all, it was very difficult to figure out the order of the novel. The narrator often switches between past and present (or at least I think he does?) without any description or pause for the benefit of the readers. It's just really hard to keep track of where we are in time.

At what I thought was the climax of the novel, the narrator switches from first to second person point of view, and I really didn't like this. To throw such a change on readers at such an important part of the novel was frustrating to me. I was trying to keep up with his narration and then I had to switch points of view.

The narrator also digresses way too often: I'm sure this happens on every page. That in itself is difficult to get through but then the narrator continually apologizes for getting off subject and there's a great show of him trying to get back on track, which is just so muddy and difficult to trudge through. Maybe this is for comedic relief or something, but I didn't see the humor in it.

I did make myself think about what it means that the narrator is an "Oxygen Thief." At first, I thought he was stealing the oxygen of all the women whose hearts he broke. But then it became much more clear to see that he was stealing his own oxygen. Nothing is going the way he wants it to go in his life, and I think it's his doing: partially because of his own attitude, but also due to his laziness, his lack of self-control, and his general dislike for everything. Of course he has no oxygen. He's sucking everything out of the world leaving nothing for himself.

I can't decide if I'll read the rest in the series. I think the novel ended well. I should also mention that I find it very difficult to feel sorry for him at all in the end. He made it sound like he knew what was going on the whole time, and he had several occasions to end things, but he didn't. It wasn't necessarily his fault, but I do think he could have changed his story. When I'm done with my reading challenge this year, I might return to the series to see if anything changes in future books.

C is for A Clockwork Orange: Anthony Burgess

Is it better to have goodness forced upon you, or is it better to be able to choose to be bad? That's the question Burgess presents in this story of Alex, the main character. And this book made me think about which was is better. As a society, we like to think that goodness is obviously the better choice, but as you can see through Alex, who becomes capable of only goodness, that can't work as easily as we'd like it to.

The language was a difficult barrier for me, but after the first part of the book, I was able to really get into the story and I forgot about the difficulty of the language. I found too that even though I didn't understand all of the terms, it wasn't necessary for me to have a glossary or anything because if I couldn't figure it out myself, I didn't need to understand.

I remember talking to my husband as I read the first few chapters, and he and I were both appalled by what I was reading. The things Alex and his droogies did in this first part is really horrible, and yet, as I was reading, they seemed completely natural. This made me think about how neutral I am to crime now because of society. Crime is romanticized and dramatized and made normal through books and television, which is actually a really scary thing to consider. The actions in the first part are truly horrifying, yet I found myself laughing at some of the lines in the midst of the violence. That was a weird feeling, but Burgess manages to bring humor into the horror to make it seem more natural or human.

Alex himself is a very confusing character. He's only 15 when the book begins, and yet he and his friends have done some of the worst things I've known a human to do. At 15 years of age. Then, he turns around and smacks Dim because of his lack of manners. What? Manners are important to this guy who beats up anyone who crosses his path just for fun and rapes any girl or woman he sees? He's concerned about his muscle having proper manners? I also don't understand his fascination with classical music. How can he so easily see the beauty of Mozart and Beethoven, but fail to see any beauty or value in the life of a human being? That's a question I never got answered, and I might just have to figure it out on my own.

The captivating portion of this book really starts about halfway through part 2 for me, when Alex is presented with this new view of correcting criminals: "The new view is that we turn the bad into the good" (p. 104). They're going to eradicate Alex of all of his bad, to the point where he is capable of only doing good.

Burgess brings up so many good questions in this last half, mostly surrounding the question of free will. Is it better to choose bad than to be forced to do good? What makes a man good? If a man is incapable of committing bad, is he good? Can you cure a man of "bad?"

This was an excellent novel: excellent and horrifying. Is this what our future holds? Will future teenagers behave like Alex at the beginning? I pray not. If this is the case, how will we, as a society, handle this crime?

One thing I also wanted to touch on was the last chapter. When first published, the last chapter wasn't included, and I can understand why. I think it is so much more powerful to end on the previous chapter with Alex's cure. In my opinion, adding that last chapter takes away from the true purpose of the novel, and dissolves the impact that the final line could have on the novel: "I was cured all right" (p. 199). However, I'm sure Burgess had a reason for including that chapter, and as the author, I believe he knows best.

B is for The Blue Flower: Penelope Fitzgerald

I had a very difficult time with this book. I was struggling to find a book that started with "B," as per my Reading Challenge, and Google recommended this one to me. From what I gathered in reviews on this book, it is very important and a masterpiece. I couldn't quite agree with that.

The novel opens with this pair of college friends, Fritz (who we later find out is the main character) and his friend Dietmahler. Dietmahler is visiting Fritz's home for the first time. Fitzgerald talks about this visit for the first three or four chapters, and then suddenly focuses solely on Fritz, without any conclusion on Dietmahler's visit. Up until this seemingly random switch, it seemed Dietmahler would be the main character, the one who's journey we would be following. That is not the case.

We then follow Fritz on his journey to find the Blue Flower, as he wrote in his story of the same name. I didn't find any suggestions as to what the Blue Flower was, so I allowed myself to draw my own conclusions: perhaps Sophie or her youth, as he is striving for the entire rest of the book to win Sophie and ultimately marry her. This proves impossible with her death in the end, proving that the Blue Flower is unattainable.

About 60% of the way through the novel, we return to Dietmahler's visit for a few sentences, but again forego him for Fritz and his search of the Blue Flower.

We do receive more mention of Dietmahler as Sophie becomes increasingly sick and her family seeks help and a cure for her. He comes into the picture again, but doesn't really play a major role. This was confusing and off-putting to me because of the emphasis he received in the beginning. I must need to go back and re-read the beginning in the context of the whole novel and perhaps it will make more sense to me.

I wasn't all that fond of the writing style either. This was my first Fitzgerald novel, so I might need to read more of her works before I draw a full conclusion towards her writing, but I found myself often drifting from the story because her writing was not at all engaging to me. I was bogged down by the way she wrote and had to work really hard to keep going.

Over all, I would not recommend this book, but perhaps that's because I didn't understand the moral or the point or appreciate the beauty. Maybe after I finish my 2018 reading challenge, I can give the book another chance, turning to other reviews and studies to maybe understand more of what Fitzgerald was doing. I'm not deterred or disappointed in my inability to understand The Blue Flower, because I know I don't need to understand everything I read.

A is for Atonement: Ian McEwan

I read this book after watching the movie by mistake. It wasn't until I loved the movie and looked more into it that I figured out it was a movie based on a book. I knew I had to read the book, and the next time I was in a bookstore, I purchased it and began to read.

McEwan has such an interesting writing style. This is my first book of his that I've read, and I'm encouraged to read more because I was captivated by his way with words. It's hard to describe exactly what gives me this feeling, but reading the book was a similar experience to watching the movie. In the way McEwan details scenes, characters, movement, emotions, dialogue, etc., feels like stage directions in a script. This makes me feel like by reading the book, I'm actually watching a movie that's been written out for me. I loved it. Usually I like the freedom to visualize scenery and characters myself, and when I started the book, I thought I was going to be disappointed when I was handed every description and the exact way I should visualize everything. However, as I kept reading and the scenes became more complex and characters really started developing, I appreciated the spoon-feeding of detail. I didn't have to guess what McEwan was aiming for; he gave it to me exactly as he wanted.

While this was like reading a movie, it was a completely different experience from watching the movie. Aside from the obvious differences of book v. movie, the way in which I viewed characters was altered. Because McEwan gave us so much of Briony, I was able to understand her actions a little bit more. He gave us her every thought and reasoning and showed us how she reached her conclusions and how she defended her decision. This made her not as despicable as I found her in the movie. What she did was most certainly deplorable but slightly more understandable.

However, just when I reached that conclusion of Briony, McEwan threw more against her with the scene with Robbie and Briony's attempted drowning to see if Robbie would save her. In this scene she also confesses her love for Robbie, leading readers to believe that is the main reason why she did what she did. The problem is that this comes from Robbie's perspective, and based on the rest of the novel, I can't decide whether or not to believe this happened. I'm conflicted.

I love the ending of the novel especially. Briony returning to the "scene of the crime" to celebrate a birthday, the acting out of her first play, which was to be put on that first night, and all of the thoughts we get from her to wrap up the whole story.

I ended the book with a full disgust for Briony. She did wrong, she waited five years to even attempt to atone for them, and even then, she waited 60+ years to actually begin the process of telling the truth, and then because of liability, she can't publish her work until the criminals are dead, and at that point, she admits, she too will be gone, thus avoiding all scandal and blame. And what she ends up with isn't even the full truth. She changes Robbie and Cecilia's story for what purpose? To make herself feel better? To make her seem less a villian? I can understand wanting them to be happy and writing a story in a way that ends with them happy, but I think it's unfair that their true story is never told. While Briony thinks she's atoned for what she did, I find that not to be the case. She'll get to die completely unjudged by everyone involved. At least she'll die with the guilt of the lives she ruined.

I love the passion this book makes me feel. As you might be able to tell, I'm so angry at Briony, and I appreciate any book that can do that for me. I definitely need to read more McEwan.

New Year New Reading Challenge

New year, new me, right? Close enough. I haven't posted in a while; I'm not the best at remembering that I have this blog and remembering to post on it frequently.

Hopefully with my New Year's Resolution, that will change!

I have two main resolutions this year: journal every day and complete a reading challenge. I've always wanted to do a reading challenge, but I never have, so I figured, what better time to start a challenge than at the beginning of the year when goals and expectations are high all around the world?

I decided to start with a fairly simple reading challenge that leaves me with plenty of options and freedom but has a clear start and end point. I'm going to do the alphabet challenge. It's a pretty easy concept, I have to read one book for each letter of the alphabet. The first letter of the title is the one that counts. For example, I'm starting with Atonement by Ian McEwan. That covers the letter A. I'm not sure what I'll do for B yet, but I have a whole book to get there. Articles do not count for the letter, so for T, I cannot count The Orphan's Tale by Pam Jenoff. That would count for O.

It should be pretty easy for me to complete, so the goal is to finish the entire alphabet by December 31st, 2018 at 11:59.

I'll be posting on each letter/book, so stay tuned!

Happy New Year!